Go Find Less

“You’re so loud!”

“Omg Raegan, you’re so loud!”

“You’re being too loud Raegan.”

“Raegan, you’re like a bull in a china shop.”

All the wonderful compliments paid to me by well meaning, and not so well-meaning peeps in my life through the years.

Now, don’t feel bad for me. The freedom and energy that allows me to be loud and excited is the same energy that enables me to change the atmosphere in a room. It’s the same energy that people love to be around, and it’s the same energy that people will strive to have in their life.

But…

We are not going to be everybody’s cup of tea. Or coffee.

We need to get comfortable with that.

I learned a long time ago that you could be the juiciest fruit on the tree, but if someone doesn’t like fruit, it doesn’t matter. And that is ok!

People are allowed to like who or what they like at any point. What they are not allowed to do is criticize and put others down for characteristics, or personality traits they don’t like. That is manipulative and rude. We’re not allowed to do it either. Somewhere we’ve decided its ok to comment on people and have it be acceptable. I’m hoping this changes. As we’re learning that peoples’ bodies are not open for comment, neither are their personalities. I’ve been saying to anyone and everyone who will listen, if someone says you’re too much, tell them to go find less. Period. Or better yet, don’t respond at all. Put up a boundary. “When you say this, I will have to leave. Or I will stop talking with you.”  They wont like it. At all. But they will begin to respect you. It may feel harsh as you set up a new and healthier boundary in your life.

They will adapt.

If they don’t, do you really want them in your life?