Did it really hurt your feelings?

But did it really hurt your feelings?

I want to offer you a new way of thinking about hurt feelings. I want to challenge you to start to believe that nobody can hurt your feelings. You are the only person that can make yourself feel bad. I know this is a hard concept to believe because from young children we are taught that we are responsible for others’ feelings. Have you ever heard your parents say, “Don't behave that way, that hurts mommy’s feelings or don’t say that to your friend, that hurts their feelings.” That is just not true. The truth is what we think about what someone says or does is what hurts our feelings. People are free to do or say anything that they want, and it is how we think about it that hurts or does not hurt our feelings. What you choose to believe about what someone says, or someone does is what will hurt your feelings.

 Here is why. Every emotion begins with a thought.

 When you choose to think differently about other people’s actions and think differently about how they respond to you or what people say about you or what people do to you, you will be set free.

When you can begin to believe your self -worth and your peace is based on you and  you having your own back, on you believing in you, on you knowing that you are the very best human that you can be and it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says you are going to live a much happier life.

 When you can begin to have an attitude of let them think what they want, that doesn't have to affect me, I think I'm great ,I have my own back, I don't have to defend myself, I know I do the very best I can and I'm going to let that go, you will experience a new level of joy.

 When you decide you’re going to let them feel what they're putting out into the world and you’re going to feel what you’re thinking and you’re putting into the world, you can begin to control your feelings.

 I know this is hard. I know this is a whole new way of thinking, but we do not have to live offended, and we do not have to live in response to what other people say or do. We can live in response to what we think, to what we know and to what we do.

 For example, if you found out that they are talking about you negatively. Did that hurt your feelings? No! The thoughts you had did.  Thoughts like ,Oh my God she was supposed to be my best friend, I have an expectation that she would never say anything negative about me, she must not love me, that must mean I am a horrible human and I am worthless and I trusted the wrong person,  I am so stupid and why did I put my trust in her, are the thoughts that hurt your feelings. Your own thinking causes your offense.  

Instead, you can choose to think, wow well must be she's not as trustworthy as I thought she was but boy I loved well and I chose to trust and I chose to live my life to the fullest, I know now that I can't trust her with things and maybe I need to have a conversation with her and say hey you know I don't like that you did that so I'm not going to be sharing things with you in the future I just wanted to let you know that and then move on. And then know that you have your own back in that situation. You don't have to have an expectation on them, you can just say they're allowed to be who they are, they're allowed to do what they're going to do. I do not have to put trust in them in the future and I can move on and that is OK!

Kind of mind blowing, isn’t it? Sounds crazy, doesn’t it? Before you knock it, try it on this week and see what freedom you experience!